aren't you glad we met?

aren't you glad we met?

All I require from you is a bowl of candy and 40% of your attention, and I promise I won't make you regret it.

Me: Who's a good boy?
Dog: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
Dog: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why does a person think it’s okay to kiss someone without his/her permisson? 

I am aware that an unexpected way of swooping a girl up in one’s arm and giving her a passionate kiss is romantasized beyond any limit, but before you do this, please do make sure that she feels the same about you. Do make sure that she actually wants to kiss you. Do make sure that she even likesyou. Do not just kiss her because you like her. I cannot emphasize this enough. I really cannot. 

budvveiser:

do you think clouds look down on people and think “that ones shaped like an idiot”

you look fucking stupid in a dress, DUDE Anonymous

pluckyyoungdonna:

dajo42:

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come closer one second

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little closer

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okay close enough

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i have a simple question: which of us is wearing a crown?

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that would be me.

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do you know what this crown means?

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it means i look fucking cute

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and you’re the human embodiment of a sore butt

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now as your fucking queen, i royally declare

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that i am beautiful and you are a listerine enema

Listerine enema oh my god